Customer trying to touch you: I won't tell if you don't!
Customer tipping less than the minimum: WOW you are the most gorgeous woman, you're like a goddess!
Customer who is drunk and can't remember anything: How are you doing? (pause for my answer, three minutes later) So, how are you doing?
Customer who doesn't understand etiquette: So, where else do your work?
Customer who doesn't understand the point of stagenames: What's your real name? WHAT? You don't think you can trust me? *indignant look*
Customer who doesn't realize solicitation is a crime: What time do you get off work? Would you be up for maybe coming back to my place and making way more money than you could ever make here?
Customer raising red flags: Does the lapdance room have security cameras?
Customer sitting just behind the rack, watching the girls on stage and not tipping: WOOOO! YEAH! OWWW!
bro remember when u listened to this song in the commons area of your middle school and you had a purple and black zebra case on your ipod and your background was a cartoon monster or cupcake and muffin that said ‘muffins are just ugly cupcakes’and you were wearing glittery converse and you teased and straightened your hair and wore a bow in itand you told everyone u got the bow at hot topic but you really got it at claires for 6.95 and you had like a whole dance choreographed in your head to this song but you never actually did it and then you went and talked about nightmare before christmas with your friend for an hour over skype